11 Essential Features for the Professional Adventurer’s Household

If I were a professional adventurer looking for the perfect property in the twenty-first century, these are the features for which I’d ask from the estate agent:

1. A staircase that allows me to perform chin-ups
2. Walk-in wardrobe for Gore-tex, fleece and down products
3. Easy access for bicycles (because all adventurers cycle; and those that don’t need somewhere to store their kayaks/skis)
4. Easy access to the outdoors (but still on a good commute line for all those important meetings with sponsors)
5. Rooms that are big enough to run between (because adventurers don’t walk)
6. A garden that’s big enough to accommodate trials of the latest tent/tarp/bivvy bag purchase
7. Ground floor flat, if not a house, so that downstairs don’t complain about the noise of of early morning circuit sessions in the living room
8. Cold running water for showers and baths (adventurers don’t need hot water)
9. A view of mountains/desert/the sea from my desk for inspiration (but not so remote as to compromise broadband speeds for essential Twitter/Facebook/blog updates)
10. A large dining room table over which to spread an equally large map
11. A living room whose circumference provides sufficient obstacles and challenge for a complete traverse without touching the floor