When I wake in two months’ time, it will be in a room, not a tent.
It will not take me a minute to work out what country I am in. I know the answer even now. It will be England.
I will not be camped in a roadside picnic area, petrol station forecourt or someone’s back yard. I will be in a bedroom.
My belongings will fill cupboards and drawers across several rooms, perhaps even several buildings. They will not fit into four panniers nor will they need to.
In a few months from now my morning tea will be served caffeine free and sugar free – there’ll be no justification for either any more – but at least I’ll be able to make it without first stuffing a propane canister down my trousers to warm it up or assembling a tiny titanium camping stove. I’ll just push a button.
It will no longer be appropriate, in the year ahead, to rapidly consume an entire family sized pumpkin pie with filfthy hands outside a cafe before entering it, ordering a huge plate of nachos and eating them too. Certainly not at eleven in the morning. A ‘Heart Attack Burger’ will be less an afternoon snack and more a prophecy.
In months to come the decision of what to wear will be dictated by occasion and whim rather than temperature and wind. This will be a luxury and a hassle.
This time next year the length of my days will probably be set by contract not sun. Sunrise will be of no relevance but my alarm clock will. When night falls, bulbs will fill the void.
When all this is over, dinners will be cooked with multiple burners, prepared with multiple knives and eaten with multiple utensils (none of which will be sporks). Washing up will still be a chore.
I will no longer meet new people every day and I will no longer need to keep making conversation with strangers. I won’t be forced to exercise for hour after hour and I may never be as fit. I won’t be able to eat unlimited quantities but nor will I need to. My body will not constantly ache at the end of a day but I probably won’t sleep as soundly as a result. Life will be easier. Life will be more complicated.
So, perhaps in a year I’ll look back with a tear but if I do it will roll past a smile.
Brilliant stuff Timmy!
Why don’t you have a baby?
When you wake each morning you will be in a room. You will know where you are but you may struggle to remember what day it is.
You will not be camped in a roadside picnic area, petrol station forecourt or someone’s back yard. You will be in a bedroom possibly sleeping in yesterday’s clothes.
Your belongings will not fill cupboards or drawers. Instead they will be in piles scattered across the floor.
Morning tea will be served with caffeine and sugar– you will need both. You’ll just push a button but you cannot be sure you will get to drink it. There will be many undrunk cups of tea.
It will be appropriate to rapidly consume an entire family sized pumpkin pie, especially for breakfast.
In months to come the decision of what to wear will be dictated by what is not in the wash.
Sunrise and nightfall will be of no relevance. The length of your days will be determined by your offspring.
When all this is over, dinners may be cooked with multiple burners, prepared with multiple knives and eaten with multiple utensils. Or you could just have a pot noodle.
You will no longer meet new people every day. You will spend a lot of time talking to a small gurgling creature.
You will be forced to exercise, carrying the baby around all day. Your body will constantly ache and at the end of the day you would sleep soundly if only the baby would let you.
Life will be more complicated.
So, perhaps in a year you’d look back with a tear but you wouldn’t change it for the world.
Superb. Thank you Caroline.
Brilliant, completely true
Brilliant, Caroline! Love it.
Beautiful tim, it sounds like you’ve had a truly amazing experience but also sounds like you are ready for a rest. Looking forward to hopefully seeing you and that beard at some point soon.
I reckon you’ve got it about right Lianne. Certainly looking forward to seeing you soon!
This blows me away Tim. You guys have achieved something beyond what I can even imagine. Awesome, in every way!
Thanks Ana! Hopefully see you soon.
Lovely Tim, and Caroline response made me laugh out loud! So so true.
Looking forward to having you both home…….perhaps minus the beard Tim?
Thanks Sharon. See you soon and, don’t worry, the beard does not have long left to live.