If you could do anything, what would it be?
I’ve had this conversation on more than one occasion recently (not dissimilar to “What would you do if you had a million pounds?“) and the answer, for me, has been: “Well, this”.
And that sounds wonderfully trite and complacent but, in reality, it has as much gravitas as the guy lying back in a hammock and saying the same thing whilst on holiday in the Caribbean. Both are unrealistic, unsustainable.
I have been living off pitiful savings and keeping my costs to a minimum whilst juggling as many projects as I can find hours in the day. I have no interest in making money beyond the fact that it’s necessary to live in the way I want to (that is, to say, as part of society, with the ability to work on some adventures and where I can see my friends) but I’m starting to fall below even that low threshold.
I would like what I do (which is to write, go on adventures and help other people with theirs) to make money but, at present, I’m incredibly reluctant to bend, adapt or dilute these things for that purpose. I love what I do but it is not a good business model.
The ideal situation is to get one of my big ideas funded or have my incredible expertise recognised in the budget of the next great expedition to get sponsored. But, I will settle for the drip feeding of pennies through sporadic work as long as it leaves me with enough time and energy to focus on the rest of life.
My concern is that I won’t even get a trickle of income, that I won’t find that time and energy I need for my real work, and that I could become disenchanted with the compromises necessary to sustain this lifestyle and give up on what I’ve been working on until now.
My concern is that in one year’s time, one month, one week, I will no longer be doing what I love.
It’s been a big step to get here and everything and everyone has screamed “This is the right decision!” but I can only hope that I can keep it up in 2010.