In one month’s time I may no longer be doing what I love

Dec 22, 2009

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Approaching Antwerp (from Montreal)

If you could do anything, what would it be?

I’ve had this conversation on more than one occasion recently (not dissimilar to “What would you do if you had a million pounds?“) and the answer, for me, has been: “Well, this”.

And that sounds wonderfully trite and complacent but, in reality, it has as much gravitas as the guy lying back in a hammock and saying the same thing whilst on holiday in the Caribbean. Both are unrealistic, unsustainable.

I have been living off pitiful savings and keeping my costs to a minimum whilst juggling as many projects as I can find hours in the day. I have no interest in making money beyond the fact that it’s necessary to live in the way I want to (that is, to say, as part of society, with the ability to work on some adventures and where I can see my friends) but I’m starting to fall below even that low threshold.

I would like what I do (which is to write, go on adventures and help other people with theirs) to make money but, at present, I’m incredibly reluctant to bend, adapt or dilute these things for that purpose. I love what I do but it is not a good business model.

The ideal situation is to get one of my big ideas funded or have my incredible expertise recognised in the budget of the next great expedition to get sponsored. But, I will settle for the drip feeding of pennies through sporadic work as long as it leaves me with enough time and energy to focus on the rest of life.

My concern is that I won’t even get a trickle of income, that I won’t find that time and energy I need for my real work, and that I could become disenchanted with the compromises necessary to sustain this lifestyle and give up on what I’ve been working on until now.

My concern is that in one year’s time, one month, one week, I will no longer be doing what I love.

It’s been a big step to get here and everything and everyone has screamed “This is the right decision!” but I can only hope that I can keep it up in 2010.

Motivation

Comments

4 responses to “In one month’s time I may no longer be doing what I love”

lee hughes

December 22, 2009

Sorry to hear that Tim. Please don’t ever give up on what you want and your dream though.

Am sure you’re well aware of the set backs other people have had during their lives and the fact that they never gave up on what they wanted..

Good luck to you :)

Reply
Steve

December 22, 2009

You are in exactly the same position as me, although I have another half, and she will be working in the new year (I hope) I want to stay doing what I do which is pretty much the same as you. I am trying to get my medical knowledge to pay its way. If I can help other people to do their challenges (and stay safe or fix them if they break) then great. If I can do this AND get some of the stuff that pays bills then better still.
Maybe we could join forces and you could do ‘National’ Egg Races, The Great North Egg Race, The Welsh Egg Race. I could look after the medical side, stop people getting scrambled, make sure they don’t have to shell out too much to take part, put them back together again if they have a great fall. It’s no yoke mate, I think it could work and we wouldn’t get egg on our faces.
So my ideal world…
I’d be up a mountain or somewhere remote, looking after a film crew or a group of athletes, runners, mountaineers, swimmers etc. Helping them plan expeditions and acting as their medic. Of course, this would involve some form of payment.

Reply
Steve Blethyn

December 23, 2009

An idea that goes bad is better than no idea, a plan that fails is better than no plan and a dream has to stay alive or it’ll never become a reality.

Reply
Joolz

December 23, 2009

Your predicament sounds familiar – what I feel I ‘should’ be doing is being a full-time artist, however I have (for the last 3 years) sold out on that front and have been working a ‘normal’ 40 hr week job. That job has kept me and my other half from becoming homeless and has put food on the table, but I am not happy!
I think that is you have that ‘wanderlust’ or just any drive for the thing you love, you will never be ‘happy’ unless you are doing it. Just a pity it doesn’t always pay the bills. I can understand your fear of ‘diluting’ your work time, but it is perhaps a means to an end..? Best of luck, keep the faith :)

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